Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Today, I didn't get a job.

And I don't just mean, "another day has passed and Ellie is still jobless."

What I mean is, today I was told "we're going with someone else."

Cue the high pitched girl voice responding, "oh, that's okay," while looking up at the ceiling so my eyeballs don't turn into faucets.

I kept staring at the ceiling after the call ended and I thought to myself, "it's really okay." I said it enough times I started to sound like Dorothy.

But was it okay? I had gotten so excited, perhaps overly so.. I had started altering summer plans and researching options for post tour. I had remapped literally everything, which ultimately lead to getting my hopes up. Twenty-five years old and I still get my hopes up with every single thing in life.

Not really sure of what to do, I texted my family so they knew what the "results" were and I sat in bed with a fresh cup of coffee, watching my beloved Gilmore Girls - in my little world Lorelai and Rory understand my situation and would most likely bring a tub of Ben & Jerry's so I could wallow and everything would be right in the world.

But then I realized, I don't want to wallow. That's a waste of time. It's not going to solve anything.

I decided to not wallow, but I did keep watching GG, because I can and because it's the best.

So yeah, I didn't get a job that probably would have opened up doors galore in the future. But maybe - and I'm pretty convinced of this - this was all a part of God's plan. Perhaps there's something else around the corner.

Now that it's 5pm, I'm over it. Which feels weird. But I'm truly okay.


I still don't know what's next for me. And while on one hand that reality is TERRIFYING to me, I know that on the other hand, God's got it in control and in the words of my OBB friends: "it's gonna be alright."


Be true to your teeth or they'll be false to you,
Ellie