Hello, My Name Is _______

Hello. My name is, Ellie.

Well, that's what people usually call me anyway. If you look at my birth certificate, though, it says Eleanor Graham Keller. (We'll skip the section that says "part whale." Sorry, mom.).

Since I got back to Nashville after a much needed break in PA, I've been job searching (with minor success), binging Friends (because why not), and wondering when things will start to look up for me. Because being jobless makes it difficult to pay bills.

Currently though, this is what my Saturday night looks like: 25 year old, single female, eating Spagettios and Meatballs (the "and meatballs" is crucial, because the regular kind is gross) and watching a chick flick. And internally freaking out about leading a worship service in the morning which I haven't done in I can't even remember how long.

Anyway, if I'm being perfectly honest, I think I had unrealistic expectations of what my life would look like post (a 3-month) tour. I figured, a few weeks of down time at most, and then I would have work. Of some sort. I wouldn't be considering if I should move back home so I could live with my parents and not worry about how long I could get by with strawberries and cream oatmeal and Ritz crackers. And yet, here we are. Mom, Dad....you guys spoiled me while I was home.

I guess in this musing, which at the moment feels more like a rambling, I'm trying to figure out who I am. If we were to look at this week, my life would probably read, "Ellie Keller, professional couch potato with a side of job hunting." It all feels like a movie, really. And an embarrassing one at that... I know what I'd like it to say, though I'm not sure I'm ready to say it out loud, for fear of hearing, "really?!" Because chances are, I'd still be eating Spaghettios and Meatballs on that dime. I could be wrong, but I think it's a pretty good chance.

Who knows what job I'll have next, or when it will come. Who knows anything, honestly. There are times when the things we want in life, aren't part of God's plan. And then there are times that the things we don't expect in life, are part of His plan. Unfortunately, I oftentimes focus on the things I don't get. I'm still freaking out about so, so many things. Human nature, I suppose. I was reminded of this promise, though: "And if not, He is still good." The things in our lives may not go as planned, but guys, He is still SO incredibly good. Because it's His plan, not ours.

So, I'm going to finish my chick flick, print my music for church tomorrow (shameless plug - I'll be at The Well in Brentwood) and probably take a super hot bubble bath because #arthritis.

For now, my name tag simply says, "Hello, my name is Ellie." It may not read how I'd like it to right now, but God will provide, in His time. And when He does, it will be good.


Stay tuned,
Ellie