My morning began at 5:00. A.M., not P.M. I don't often see that time of day - mostly because I choose not to. After a few delays thanks to trusty old Kathy (my car), I was on my way. I was on my way for what would be in one sense an exhausting day, but in another and more important sense, energizing day.
I pulled in at 7:00am - 15 minutes late for rehearsal. Great start, Ellie, great start. Forgot to take my allergy medicine. Awesome. Lack of sleep due to excitement now making me nervous. Seriously?!
Breathe on me, breath of God.
I walked in and started feeling less nervous. I felt at home. I had been granted peace.
I'm still the new kid on the block, so I met two of the band and we were off.
My prayer for the day was not only that my nerves would be taken away, and not only that I would be used as a vessel to lead others, but (and perhaps this was slightly selfish), that my spirit would be lifted.
Fill me with life anew.
After we finished our music in the first service, we met downstairs for waffles and devotions. I got to talking with the drummer, and before I knew it, I was sharing almost all of my life story with him. I had only met this man a few hours prior, and yet I felt as though he had been a family friend all my life. I told him of my passion for music ministry and for my desire to know God's calling in my life.
By this point, I had been up for a solid 4.5 hours, but for some reason, I felt like I had slept for 12 hours the night before. (I didn't, by the way). I felt full and refreshed, energized and revived.
Getting ready for the second service, I was excited. And then I got upstairs. There was an inkling of nervousness making its way back into my mind. I starting wondering why I was even singing in a church of what felt like 1,000 people. And then it hit me: because of my passion for the Church.
That I may love what Thou dost love.
When we had finished the second service, I went to sit down, but there were no seats! The church was packed. How great to have seats filled with people who want to be there. People who want to learn, to grow, to love.
I went downstairs again to talk, to ponder, to pray. Lately I've been struggling with the loving like Christ loves part. I've been consumed with things that are bothering me instead of focusing and living like Christ would have me to. I haven't been attentive to the needs of others because I've been so concerned about my struggles.
And do what Thou wouldst do.
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The songs, the sermon and the Spirit had all come together, allowing for a unity among hundreds and hundreds of people throughout the day.
This song, "Breathe On Me, Breath Of God" has been around since the 1800s. I grew up singing it as a traditional hymn. Perhaps as a kid I wasn't thinking about the theological implications of the songs. But throughout the day, and the days since, this song has stood out to me, and has been my prayer.
In making this my prayer, I'm not only asking for God's peace and guidance. Although, Heaven knows I need it. But rather, and maybe even more importantly, that through His Spirit, I would find new life so that I may love what He loves, and do what He does.
To say that I've got everything figured out would be more than a fib. But! The stepping stones for the path ahead of me are starting to line up, allowing me to walk instead of standing on one stone, stuck.
I encourage you (whoever "you" are) to listen to the words of this beautiful hymn. I encourage you to make it your prayer.
I pray that you would be filled with new life, that the breath of God would lead you and that you would be filled with the peace, knowledge and understanding that comes only from God.
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Breathe on me, breath of God,
Fill me with life anew.
That I may love what Thou dost love,
And do what Thou wouldst do.
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Take one day at a time. Don't be discouraged if the answers you're looking for don't come at the snap of your fingers. Be patient. Wait on the Lord. Allow yourself to be filled with the very breaths that brought you life. And remember that Christ is for you, not against you.
T.T.F.N.,
Ellie
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