Here's To _________

Well friends, we've made it to the end of another year. I'm sitting on my porch with a hot cuppa, the dog is taking full advantage of the heated floors and looks like road kill and my parents are winter cleaning (apparently that's a thing in this house).

In some ways, it's hard to believe we've gone through a full year already. Time is an interesting thing; sometimes it feels as though time takes forever, and others, it feels as though there simply was not enough. Paging back through the year though, I think I had just the right amount of time; time for the things planned and even time for the things unplanned.

Chapters were written, pages were turned. One of my chapters has come to an end - after an amazing year and a half, I have stepped away from Getty Music and will be starting a new chapter. I was afforded an incredible amount of opportunities during my time with GM, and I will be forever thankful for the people met along the way, experiences had and friendships made. Our last night of tour was bittersweet; I was surrounded by friends that had become family, and saying goodbye brought on many a tear. I know though, that I'll see these amazing people again sometime.

The next chapter begins January 4th: WinterJam East Coast for THREE months and I get to do it with one of my absolute best friends. I am beyond excited for this tour and for what God has in store after it's over. I know that touring is a fairly unconventional occupation - living on a bus and out of a suitcase, but I love it, and I love the ridiculous amount of amazing people I get to meet. So as long as I can keep paying my bills, it looks like this is what I GET to do for the foreseeable future. And I am stoked.

Like every other year, there were a lot of amazing things that came from this year, and some not so amazing things. But the way I see it, is that we can complain and say irrelevant things like "good riddance, 2016" or we can be thankful for 2016, for another day, for another year. There's going to be more good and more bad no matter what year we're in, so take advantage of spending time with family and friends, tell them how much you love them. I've had some rough times myself this year, but I'm not going to dwell on them and miss out on the good things happening around me. I don't know about any of you, but I'm thankful for this year and I'm excited for next year.

So here's to the 8 resolutions we won't keep, but the 2 we will. Here's to more time spent with loved ones. Here's to the new people we'll meet. Here's to the times that may not be so great - we'll get through them, I promise.

Here's to us. Here's to a New Year. Here's to 2017.


Pop Pop,
Ellie

Thanksgiving Thankfulness

As I'm sitting on my porch, with my sweet puppy curled up beside me, dad asleep on the couch, my brother asleep in the other room and the rest of the fam playing games, it kind of hit me. Why do we seldom express our thankfulness when it's not Thanksgiving? I'm not saying we don't, but we have made such a huge deal out of making sure we say what we're thankful for on one specific day. And it's great, and it's important, but why aren't we saying those things more often?!

I've been riding a rollercoaster lately. But through it all, I've had family and friends riding along with me, never letting go of my hand. I know I probably wouldn't have made it through the whole ride if I didn't have those people in my life. So, of course I'm thankful for them.

"I'm thankful for you."

I think I've said it. Well, have I said it? I think so... Right??

Why is this such a hard concept? Why are we not "finely tuned" to recognize that we should verbalize our thankfulness for those amazing people in our lives??

[I've since said "thank you" since having this conniption.]

So while the weather may not be the greatest and we can't be outside, I'm thankful that my uncle and cousins made the trek down from Maine. I'm thankful that my Grammy's eye surgery was successful and that she has a pep back in her step. I'm thankful that both of my siblings are home and that I get to spend time with them. I'm thankful for this year; for the good, the not so good, and everything in between. I'm thankful for the new people I've met, and the new opportunities that are before me. I'm thankful for what 2017 will bring and what it has already promised. I'm thankful for another day on this earth and that I get to share special moments and make memories with all the people that mean so much to me.

I'm hopeful that I'll have another day to be thankful for all of those things, and for new things that will come my way.

I sincerely hope and pray that whoever glances at or reads this has a wonderful day with their loved ones. And I hope that you can step back and see everything that's happening around you, so that you can be thankful for even the little things. Like the fact that my dad and dog are snoring in tempo with each other. Like I said....even the little things.

So eat up your turkeys, or your non-turkeys. Enjoy your time with loved ones. Soak up the little things. And of course, let someone, or lots of someones know you're thankful for them.


Badabing badaboom,
Ellie

Patience, Young Padawan

See, it's funny, because I'm one of the least patient people I know.

I was supposed to be on my way to the airport so that I could leave for the beach and get some time to myself. But then, technology - which is supposed to be better than ever because, hello, this is the 21st Century - failed. And my flight got cancelled. So I will now be flying overnight because of this absurd reality that I am presently facing.

I am desperately trying to hang on to as much of the tiny amount of patience left in me. I've got no extra food and no extra money, so I will now have to put in an unexpected full day of work and try not to eat my hand. Because I am that hungry.

On the other hand, I guess this whole situation is good for me. It's teaching me about having patience - even when I don't want to - and I'm certainly relating to that whole "don't count your chickens before they're hatched" saying. By the way, who even came up with that phrase!? Don't count your chickens... But guess what, I did. Because COMPUTERS SHOULDN'T BE CRASHING AND CANCELLING HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF FLIGHTS.

Okay, so maybe I'm not picking up on this whole "have patience, take a deep breathe, don't bite anyone's head off" thing. Or at least I'm not picking up on it very fast. But can ya blame a girl for being upset about a cancelled flight!? (Hint: answer is "no.")

I'm not entirely sure why I'm still so frustrated, other than I'm making it inconvenient for everyone else - my roommate, my family. Ya know, the people making it possible for this trip to happen.

In all of this however, there is still good. I found another flight, I have the best friends and family (shoutout to Sarah and my mom), I'll get to download a movie for my flight (priorities, am I right?!) and maybe even take a nap when I get home from work (again, priorities).

There's really not much of a point to this post other than I thought I'd write instead of sitting in my office sulking. And because I didn't want to start crying - I'm low on sleep, so my emotions are a little cray. Don't judge.

So for now, I'm going to countdown (again) until I get to leave for the beach, make a pot of coffee because I desperately need it and try to come up with some ridiculously smart plan to keep computer from crashing. I am woman, hear me roar.

Yours till the cat barks,
Ellie

Breathe On Me, Breath Of God

On Sunday I had the crazy privilege of taking part in FOUR services at church. Yes, you read that correctly. Four. But I have to say, as tired as I was by the end of the day, it was exactly what I needed. 

My morning began at 5:00. A.M., not P.M. I don't often see that time of day - mostly because I choose not to. After a few delays thanks to trusty old Kathy (my car), I was on my way. I was on my way for what would be in one sense an exhausting day, but in another and more important sense, energizing day. 

I pulled in at 7:00am - 15 minutes late for rehearsal. Great start, Ellie, great start. Forgot to take my allergy medicine. Awesome. Lack of sleep due to excitement now making me nervous. Seriously?!

Breathe on me, breath of God.

I walked in and started feeling less nervous. I felt at home. I had been granted peace. 

I'm still the new kid on the block, so I met two of the band and we were off. 

My prayer for the day was not only that my nerves would be taken away, and not only that I would be used as a vessel to lead others, but (and perhaps this was slightly selfish), that my spirit would be lifted. 

Fill me with life anew.

After we finished our music in the first service, we met downstairs for waffles and devotions. I got to talking with the drummer, and before I knew it, I was sharing almost all of my life story with him. I had only met this man a few hours prior, and yet I felt as though he had been a family friend all my life. I told him of my passion for music ministry and for my desire to know God's calling in my life. 

By this point, I had been up for a solid 4.5 hours, but for some reason, I felt like I had slept for 12 hours the night before. (I didn't, by the way). I felt full and refreshed, energized and revived. 

Getting ready for the second service, I was excited. And then I got upstairs. There was an inkling of nervousness making its way back into my mind. I starting wondering why I was even singing in a church of what felt like 1,000 people. And then it hit me: because of my passion for the Church. 

That I may love what Thou dost love.

When we had finished the second service, I went to sit down, but there were no seats! The church was packed. How great to have seats filled with people who want to be there. People who want to learn, to grow, to love. 

I went downstairs again to talk, to ponder, to pray. Lately I've been struggling with the loving like Christ loves part. I've been consumed with things that are bothering me instead of focusing and living like Christ would have me to. I haven't been attentive to the needs of others because I've been so concerned about my struggles. 

And do what Thou wouldst do.

________________________________________________________________________________

The songs, the sermon and the Spirit had all come together, allowing for a unity among hundreds and hundreds of people throughout the day. 

This song, "Breathe On Me, Breath Of God" has been around since the 1800s. I grew up singing it as a traditional hymn. Perhaps as a kid I wasn't thinking about the theological implications of the songs. But throughout the day, and the days since, this song has stood out to me, and has been my prayer. 

In making this my prayer, I'm not only asking for God's peace and guidance. Although, Heaven knows I need it. But rather, and maybe even more importantly, that through His Spirit, I would find new life so that I may love what He loves, and do what He does. 

To say that I've got everything figured out would be more than a fib. But! The stepping stones for the path ahead of me are starting to line up, allowing me to walk instead of standing on one stone, stuck. 

I encourage you (whoever "you" are) to listen to the words of this beautiful hymn. I encourage you to make it your prayer.

I pray that you would be filled with new life, that the breath of God would lead you and that you would be filled with the peace, knowledge and understanding that comes only from God. 

________________________________________________________________________________

Breathe on me, breath of God,

Fill me with life anew.

That I may love what Thou dost love,

And do what Thou wouldst do.

________________________________________________________________________________

Take one day at a time. Don't be discouraged if the answers you're looking for don't come at the snap of your fingers. Be patient. Wait on the Lord. Allow yourself to be filled with the very breaths that brought you life. And remember that Christ is for you, not against you.

T.T.F.N.,

Ellie

Jesus, Make it Clear

Have you ever seen the video of the kid in winter, who, after shoveling his yard for a few seconds, stops, looks up to the sky, arms in the air and says, "Jesus, make it warm!"?
If you haven't, you most definitely should, purely because it's funny, but also so you have a little bit of context for what follows. So click here to watch.

That said, lately I've been feeling like that kid. Only I am saying, "Jesus, make it clear!"

For the first time, in a long time, I am unsure of what I'm supposed to be doing. I was at complete peace when I chose to go back to school for a fifth year, even though I was going to spend another billion dollars. But I knew that it was right. Jesus made it clear.

I don't want anyone to think that I'm blaming Jesus or my parents or anyone just because I don't have an answer. I simply just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. Every question I ask myself, every path I look down - I just end up with more questions. Who knows, maybe that's the way to find my answer - ask 8,000 questions.

As I sat in the airport getting ready to head back down south (where it is thankfully not winter, unlike PA), I was looking around at everyone in my gate - the baseball team from whatever college was on their way to play a somewhat important game (I guess since they're all in their travel uniforms); the couple next to me was planning a renovation in their new home; Mr. Cranky-Pants McStevenson was having a heated conversation with someone, but was excited to see the person on the other end; friends found each other who didn't know they were on the same flight, and started discussing their summer plans. All of these people at least seemed to carry themselves with an air of "I've got this. I know what I'm doing in life." And then there was me - wearing a Messiah Alumni sweatshirt, which when I bought it this week, the lady thought I was buying for my own child, and I sat there, wondering what the heck I'm supposed to be doing with my life, while the 20-something next to me is playing Dragon Ball-Z on his phone. Maybe he's on this whole "life confusion" path with me.

When I graduated from Messiah a year ago (WHAT), I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to do with my life. Living at home would clearly be a bonus. Although I'm pretty sure at 24 years old, my parents probably would have changed their minds. Eventually. But I still knew what I wanted to do.

Fast forward a few months, interviews and applications later, and my world was turned upside down - in probably the most exciting way possible for a new college grad. Fresh off the Messiah press, I packed my car and drove to a place I'd never been before in my entire 23 years of living. The following three months were a roller coaster of craziness, but I learned a great deal, and grew, too. Then I went home for Christmas, enjoyed time with family, but couldn't wait to get back down. Fast forward to this past week, when I was home for 8 days. This time I didn't want to leave. Not just because of family and friends being there, but this time something was telling me that I'd be back sooner than I expected.

Eight months ago, I was ready to escape the bubble in which I had lived since I was born. Now, I liked the "bubble." Not for its comfortability, but for its familiarity. Because at the end of the day, that's my home. Now, it wasn't a "Truman Show" kind of bubble; nothing was fake or rehearsed. It was simply my community. I know as Messiah students we always comment that we live in a bubble, that community is merely a buzzword, but there's something to be said for a bubble and community that allows for growth, for learning, for friendships. I wouldn't trade my five years at Messiah for anything. And if school wasn't so expensive, and if I didn't have to do the school part, I'd be there. Right now. Well, maybe not this second, but you know what I mean. Messiah was my home for five straight years. This place that I dreaded my first night at college (even though I only lived 25 minutes away) was the place where professors and friends would help mold me into the person I am today. I've come a long way since my first day on campus - I quickly learned not to wear my lanyard around my neck, and never to carry a tray in Lottie. Future Messiah students, take note. But last night, as I waited to board my plane in the overcrowded airport waiting to go back to a {hopeful} warmer climate, I wished I was back in my bubble.

I don't know what is going to happen in the next few months, let alone how I'm not going to be broke in the next few days - saltines for life, baby. But I do know that chapters start and they end - they can't just go on and on and on. So we'll see what happens in this chapter I'm currently in - maybe it will continue, and maybe it won't. But I know that I will be praying with every fiber of my being for Jesus to make it clear.

So whether you're questioning what your major should be in college, if you should live at home or move, keep your job or find a new one - whatever it is, don't be afraid to ask the One who invites us whole, broken, energized or tired. Go to Him like you would have as a child and ask Him to make it clear. His answer may not be immediate, it may not be what you thought He was going to say, but He will answer. And you'll know which path to take.

Pip pip!
Ellie

Airplanes, Snow and Easter Bunnies

In case you were wondering, summer has arrived. At least down south, anyway.

We had roughly 3-5 days of "spring" - heavy use of the air quotes here, folks.

And then, like a sweaty slap to the face, summer. Now, don't get me wrong - I'm loving the warm weather. But we skipped a few, or rather, multiple, degrees in between.

Of course, as I'm writing this, it's actually pleasant outside. Thanks for the consistency, Mother Nature.

Perhaps the high temperatures feel so ridiculously dramatic because when I went home one week ago, there was snow. SNOW. In April. Sometimes I forget that I lived in PA all my life, and that this is actually normal. And expected. But alas, I think Nashville has made me soft. Sorry, mom.

Apart from the weather, things are going pretty well. I went home a week ago to surprise my family. After getting about 75 minutes of sleep (so, really a nap) the night before, I was feeling a little "meh." I had a connecting flight in Charlotte, so for breakfast, at 8:30am, I had teriyaki beef jerky and ginger ale. I have no idea why I chose that, but I felt pretty good after eating. My mom and sister picked me up from the airport, the three of us coming up with a plan the whole way home. After texting my dad on the way, I snuck inside the house, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "So, what's up with all this snow?" I had HOURS to be creative, and that's what I said. In terms of lame, that was a whole packet of lamesauce. But, it didn't seem to matter. Once he realized it was actually me, the lameness was forgotten. After a lunch of Kraft mac 'n cheese, I took a much needed nap. A few hours later, when I was conscious, we left for Lancaster to surprise my Grammy. Her response when I walked in her apartment was, "I just had a "dream" that you were going to come home!" We might need to make sure she's not a world-class hacker and looking into my emails and texts. Because obviously, that's the only reasonable explanation that she knew I was coming home.

Sunday was the finale. The big one. My dad's family was celebrating Easter, and by my count, there's 49,856,238 of us to date. Okay, fine. There's only 49,856,237 of us. Anyway, after hiding under a blanket in our car for an HOUR, I was finally given the green light to come inside. However, due to my mom's slow texting, I had to sprint down the gravel driveway. Somehow, though, I managed to stay upright the whole time. {For those of you who know me, this is a huge feat}. Now, again, I had plenty of time to think of something that would be the opposite of lamesauce - awesomesauce. But, following in my lame suit, I walked down the stairs, peeked over the railing and said, "Hey guys!" To which my dear grandma replied, "Is that Ellie? But she's in Nashville!" I think that was probably the best part. ;) Love you, grandma!

We got home, enjoyed some time in the hot tub, and then I packed my things before getting some sleep. This time I managed a few hours, unlike the 75 minutes I had on the first half of the trip. I also successfully packed my Bunny Big Ears - thank you, mom, for supplying me with 16 inches of pure chocolate bunny goodness.

My dramatic journey home (multiple canceled and delayed flights) allowed for a lot of extra time. So, I finished Harry Potter. And I cried. The lady next to me, who had somehow taken over my seat, just stared at me, as I read page after page, stuffing biscotti in my mouth, tears streaming down my face. I think, when I looked up at her, my expression said it all, and she slowly turned away, bumping up the volume on her headphones. I'm fairly certain I had the ugly cry face. Harry Potter was, without a doubt, the best series I have ever read. And I'll definitely be reading them again. And most likely crying again. Actually, I will cry. There's no stopping it.

Being home and seeing my family was absolutely wonderful. But, it was also hard to leave. With almost all of my family being no more than 30 minutes away, spending every major holiday together, and going on vacation, and seeing each other regularly is a pretty big deal. I'm very thankful I was able to see so much of my family, and already can't wait to go home again. Hopefully the snow will be completely gone the next time I get back.

I don't have too much else to report. There's a psycho bumblebee living on my deck - I'm pretty sure he waits for me to go outside, and then terrorizes me just because he can. If my neighbors see my frantic arm-waving, leg-kicking dance on my deck - I apologize; I promise I'm not crazy. Thankfully, though, this week I have a dog that is interested in chasing said bumblebee. We'll see how long that game lasts.

To anyone who reads this, enjoy the spring that has finally made its way. Get outside. Spend time with family and friends. Try paying it forward this week. It's such a gratifying feeling, helping someone out when they least (or don't) expect it. Soak up every laugh, hug and memory made. If there's one nugget to pass on, it's that your loved ones are worth it. Even if you only get to see them for 36 hours. They're worth it.

If anyone has any book suggestions, please do share. I feel as though part of me died when I finished Harry Potter. Until then, I'll just keep on with Gilmore Girls, in preparation for the revival. ALL BLESSINGS.

And one more thing: don't eat potato chips and nutter butters before bed. Your dreams will quickly turn to nightmares. I speak from experience. DON'T DO IT.


Later taters,
Ellie

Where's My Ruby Slippers?

It's been a while since I've been here. Well okay, 1 month and 14 days. 

Three days ago, I turned 24. What? Yes, 24. Next year, I will be a quarter of a century. And yet, I still get asked when I'm graduating high school. Those are always great moments. 

My mom flew down to surprise me for my birthday. And it was wonderful. Of course, it was bittersweet not having more of my family here, but one is always better than none. While we didn't have as much time as either of us would have desired, I think it's safe to say we made the most of every moment. From late night Cary Grant movies, to IHOP for dinner and a shopping extravaganza (don't worry, dad, we didn't break your wallet), it felt just like home. 

Home. There's no place like home. The home you grew up in. The home where you made memories with your family. The home where you laughed, cried, ate, slept. Home. I miss my home. I miss the home I grew up in. I miss the home where I've made memories with my family. I miss the home where I've laughed, cried, ate and slept. Home. 

These were the thoughts racing through my mind as I drove my mom, my best friend, to the airport. When am I going to see her again? When am I going to see my daddy - the man who has never left my side? When am I going to see my brother and sister, grandparents and cousins, aunts and uncles? When am I going to see my childhood friends again? 

Don't worry - I didn't have a nervous or emotional breakdown. I am stable. All is well. 

Moving away from home was good for me. I popped the bubble of my comfort zone, spread my wings and flew (well, actually drove) to Nashville, TN. And I have loved it. I've made friends who I know will be a part of my life for the rest of forever. And for them, I am incredibly thankful. I wouldn't trade those people and the memories made along the way for anything. 

I don't know what the next few chapters look like. Heck, I don't even know what I'm eating for dinner. But what I do know, is that I shouldn't be worrying about it. My best friend has always reminded me of Matthew 6:34. And now I'm clinging to that more than ever. I'm also clinging to the assurance that I'll get back home. I'll see my family, my friends. I'll make new memories, and reminisce of the old ones we've made along the way. 

So for now, I'm going to look forward to eating my chocolate covered strawberries when I get home and enjoy each day as it comes. To everyone back home, I love and miss you all so much. Enjoy the snow, because I don't have any. Love on your loved ones a little extra. Drink in the sunshine and breathe in the fresh air. No matter what chapter you're in right now, don't worry about skipping to the end. You can't. And that's okay. Stay in the present chapter. And enjoy the journey along the way. 


Toodles, 
Ellie

A Year In Review - The Life Of Ellie

Once upon a time, a New Year began. It's name: 2015. Things happened, good and bad. And then, just like that, it was over. The end.

Now for real.

Well, friends, another year has come and gone. Over the past few days, I've reminisced the many things that happened in 2015. Of the bigger milestones, I [finally] graduated from college, after FIVE years and got a job with Getty Music and moved to Nashville. One of these was unexpected. Spoiler alert: my job and MOVING.

If you know me, then you know that it wasn't an easy decision to move...to Nashville of all places. I was born and raised in the sweetest place on earth, always surrounded by family and friends. Having 15 cousins on just one side of the family meant 15 different friendships. And even though it was usually only holidays that all 8 million of us got together, I cherished each and every one. When I graduated from high school, my class had 13 people. THIRTEEN. And in one form or another, we're all still in contact with each other. I think it's the small town effect. You know everyone, and everyone knows you. And for some unknown reason, you remain friends. Forever. I'm not complaining - not in the least. It just made moving away that much harder. 

Fast forward to September. I packed Kathy to full capacity and set out for an adventure to Nashville. A place I had never been before. And I was going alone. WHAT. I arrived in my little town of Hermitage and instantly felt like I was home. A place I had never EVER been before just felt right. Top it off with the most amazing girl for a roommate, I thought this was too good to be true - I should move more often. But not really. 

I had three months until I would be home. I've never been away from home for that long. What did I sign up for?! Surprise, it's our last show in DECEMBER! I don't remember it happening, but my three months flew at a surprisingly fast speed. And yet when I look back to September, it feels like it was years ago. See what I did there?! ;)

Being home has put things into perspective for me, because even though there were a lot of amazing things that happened in 2015, there were also some not so amazing things that happened. I've learned that I need to cherish even the tiniest things that happen. My "plan" for life is completely different than how I ever imagined it would be - some of it is absolutely incredible, and yet some of it is the complete opposite. I might be touching the rim of cliche, but I've learned (and still am learning) not to take time for granted. We don't have it forever - the passing of my friend Scott put this into perspective for me. Take that extra step to make someone else's day, to put a smile on their face, to make them feel loved. I had the opportunity to bring Scott's parents to a concert in D.C. Sharing that night with them will forever be one of the greatest moments on tour and in my life. 

Are there things I would have done differently in 2015? Yes. Lots of the things. And yet, no. Because perhaps if I hadn't done things the way I did them, I wouldn't be where I am right now - which is about to check in for my flight back to Nashville. But really - I might not be going back to Nashville, or who knows, maybe I'd be in my SIXTH year of school. That wouldn't have happened...loans are not fun. What I'm failing at saying is this: don't wish you would have done things differently. Everything that happened was meant to be. And even if it felt like a punch to the face at times - I'm well acquainted with that, so don't fear - God's plan, no matter how far down the road, is FAR greater than what we could have ever imagined. 

So go ahead and drink your ALL-THE-FAT peppermint mocha. Your New Years resolutions will find you eventually. Share an extra ray of sunshine with a stranger. Let your loved ones know how much you TRULY love them. And trust God. Fully and without wavering, give it all to Him. I'm telling you from experience: He's got it under control.

Here's to 2016 and all that it brings. Even if it is a few extra pounds.

Roger, roger,

Ellie