Sunflowers Are the Best Flowers

Sometimes we do things out of a feeling of sadness or anything other than happiness and joy. Like buying yourself chocolate, and strawberries and a single red rose on Valentine's Day because you are just that lame.

Please note that when I say "you" above, I really mean me. Because I did it for the second year in a row this past Valentine's Day.

Anyway..... Most of you know that the job area of my life has been all over the place since April. But recently, there have been some changes, and things are finally starting to look up, folks. And because of that, I bought myself a bouquet of sunflowers today.

My summer has not been "typical" to say the least, but keep reading to see what I've been up to and WILL be up to in the next little while.

Some of my close friends are planning to move, so I was dubbed house organizer/packer/mover. Yes, I am going to move house for my friends and yes, I am only "slightly" nervous about something breaking or getting left behind. But they have ALL the confidence in me, so I can't screw it up. Lord help me.

I am also super excited to "announce" that I will be working with Holt International, starting this Fall. Holt, in the basic sense, is a child sponsorship and adoption agency. For more information though, you can click here. Luckily for me, Holt is a sponsor for WinterJam, which means I'll be back out for both the West and East coast tours this year!

Insert happy dance in my chair as I type.

I'm also super stoked about getting to go to the beach for TWO WEEKS with my family in less than a month! And I will finally have a friend joining, and it just happens to be my best friend I haven't seen in TWO YEARS. Talk about a reunion.

Woo, so many exciting things!

Last night, however, I couldn't sleep and woke up literally every hour. Literally.

So while I couldn't sleep, my brain started bombarding me with a million thoughts. About everything.

When I graduated from college, I had two initial job offers. Both of which were 30 minutes away from home. I didn't work in either of those positions. Instead I worked for Keith and Kristyn Getty. Never did I expect to 1) work for musicians and 2) to move to Nashville, TN.........of all places. I also didn't expect to be closing that chapter after less than two years.

But, God had other plans.

So I moved into the merchandise world and I adopted an appreciation for all my friends (and all the people I don't know) who work in a merchandise role. Being tired and sore doesn't even begin to describe.

Shoutout to my physical therapist.

Having no "real" job during the summer was never on my checklist of things to do. Thankfully, God provided. And now, after I thought I might have to work at a grocery store, I get to go back out on the road, AND work with an organization that helps kids in need all around the world. All in good time.

While I never had a detailed 5, 10 or 15-year plan, I think I always had some idea or hopeful thought of what my life would look like by 25. Which is now. I presumed I'd at least be engaged; working a FULL-time job, which could pay all my bills and still allow me to live comfortably; own a dog that I got from a shelter (maybe silly, but still true). I thought I'd be in SUCH a different place than where I'm at now. Because none of that is true.

What I realized last night, though, during my hours of not sleeping, is that IT'S OKAY. In fact, it's more than okay that I'm single, working odd jobs to help pay the bills and that I don't have a dog yet. I've learned a lot throughout my life, but especially since I moved away from home, and started living on my own. Comparing ourselves to our friends and everyone around us won't help us get to where we'll eventually land. We all have different timelines, and it's okay if our pace isn't the same as everyone else. Recognizing that it's God's will, not ours, will align our perspective and outlook on life, which ultimately will make us happier in the end.

At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you. (Yes this time I mean me AND you). So if that means buying yourself flowers or chocolate or fill in the blank, do it because you're happy and joyful. Or because it will be a reminder of the happiness and joy that will come.


Treat Yo Self,
Ellie

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Today, I didn't get a job.

And I don't just mean, "another day has passed and Ellie is still jobless."

What I mean is, today I was told "we're going with someone else."

Cue the high pitched girl voice responding, "oh, that's okay," while looking up at the ceiling so my eyeballs don't turn into faucets.

I kept staring at the ceiling after the call ended and I thought to myself, "it's really okay." I said it enough times I started to sound like Dorothy.

But was it okay? I had gotten so excited, perhaps overly so.. I had started altering summer plans and researching options for post tour. I had remapped literally everything, which ultimately lead to getting my hopes up. Twenty-five years old and I still get my hopes up with every single thing in life.

Not really sure of what to do, I texted my family so they knew what the "results" were and I sat in bed with a fresh cup of coffee, watching my beloved Gilmore Girls - in my little world Lorelai and Rory understand my situation and would most likely bring a tub of Ben & Jerry's so I could wallow and everything would be right in the world.

But then I realized, I don't want to wallow. That's a waste of time. It's not going to solve anything.

I decided to not wallow, but I did keep watching GG, because I can and because it's the best.

So yeah, I didn't get a job that probably would have opened up doors galore in the future. But maybe - and I'm pretty convinced of this - this was all a part of God's plan. Perhaps there's something else around the corner.

Now that it's 5pm, I'm over it. Which feels weird. But I'm truly okay.


I still don't know what's next for me. And while on one hand that reality is TERRIFYING to me, I know that on the other hand, God's got it in control and in the words of my OBB friends: "it's gonna be alright."


Be true to your teeth or they'll be false to you,
Ellie