I don't know about y'all, but I'm a sucker for fresh squeezed lemonade. Like the kind you can get on the boardwalk at the beach. There's something about the combination of cold, fresh, sweet and sour all in one. Just so good. Unfortunately, life isn't always lemonade. Sometimes it feels like you're drinking straight lemon juice while simultaneously getting pummeled in the face with lemons.
I've recently been facing the latter.
It's hard to have everything figured out. No matter how old or young you are. Sometimes we have things more together than we realized, and other times, the complete opposite. Lately, I've been in the boat of "I totally know what's going on, life is good...oh wait...no, not the lemons!" Blinded by the lemon juice in the eyes and battered by the flying lemons to the face.
Growing up doesn't necessarily mean that things get easy. It doesn't mean they don't get easy, but no one has everything figured out. I sure don't. And at some point, everyone gets a lemon or two in the face. Or in my case a whole bucket.
It is hard, though, accepting what's been coming my way. And beyond accepting it, overcoming it.
In the mixture of everything I've been dealing with, whether emotional (you're welcome Kleenex for being your #1 customer), or physical (thanks a lot, arthritis) or lack of sleep (so much snoring on that bus)... I haven't been good at hiding my emotions. In fact, I've been wearing them head to toe. And while I'm not proud of it, everyone has those moments in life where trying to keep all the emotions hidden is just impossible. That's me right now.
So during these off days, I'm focusing on me, on getting sleep (hallelujah, amen), on diving into the Word and spending time with Jesus, on eating healthier (or at least attempting to), on spending time with my friends.
Of course, it's easier to stay in bed or on the couch, thinking on every detail of what went wrong, or what could have been better. And if I'm honest, I've been tempted to do just that.
But that's not going to help. Promise.
As we've gotten older, my sister and I have gotten so much closer. Our sibling relationship growing up when we were younger was the typical hot mess sister relationship. Thank goodness we've gotten through and past that. We now can talk about anything and everything, both giving each other advice. And lately, she's been the one giving me advice.
Last night she told me this: keep praying bold prayers.
Whoa.
Keep praying bold prayers.
I don't know that I've really been praying boldly lately. In fact, I don't even remember the last time I did.
Maybe that's the point of the recent lemons to my face. I've been lazy in my walk with Jesus, and when I want something, I just kind of expect that because I want it, it will happen.
ERRRRRR WRONG.
So wrong.
That's not how it works. At all.
Now being bold still doesn't mean that I will receive everything I ask for - God isn't a genie in a bottle. This isn't Aladdin. But being bold means asking that the desires of our hearts would be granted. And it's not easy, but that's what He wants us to do - to bring our prayers and petitions to Him. More importantly though, if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts. Delighting ourselves in the Lord means doing things that please Him and putting His law in our hearts. And I think part of that includes patience.
*external sigh*
If any of you know me, you know that patience does not come easy. And as I get older and see the things I desire for my life happening to everyone but me, being patient becomes even more difficult. So that's my first bold prayer: to be granted patience as I wait. And in addition to that, peace. Because [the good] Lord knows I need that, too.
So, I have no idea what's next. There's no chapter title to give me any clues. But I'm praying to be okay with that. To fully trust in His plan for me and fall in His arms, knowing full well that He will catch and guide me. And hopefully hit some of those lemons out of the way.
Time to make some lemonade,
Ellie
No comments:
Post a Comment